you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
