birth control should be required to get into college
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
