My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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