He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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