If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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