I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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