Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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