glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
