tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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