Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Even my vagina gasped.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
