Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
