No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
