After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
