need another drink. this is the easiest way
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
