we made out on top of his cat.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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