So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
