he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
