Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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