So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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