wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
