sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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