does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize