covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize