so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
