Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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