Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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