I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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