Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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