My Higher Power is John Stamos
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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