He uses pillows to masturbate.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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