i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize