the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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