Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
