Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
