every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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