windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize