It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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