So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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