Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
