Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
