Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
