That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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