I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
