Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
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I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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