I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
