when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize