so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
