# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize