Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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