I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
