there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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