as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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