i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
