when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
