Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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