dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
