First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
