you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Pants are for mortals
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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