Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
