I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
