I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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