I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
