I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
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is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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