we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize