butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
