We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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