i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
