you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
