When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
