he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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