shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
